What Kind of a Teacher Does Your Child Want?

My school days were a very long time ago, yet I can still remember some of my teachers. There was my first grade teacher, Mrs. Clark, who I remember as a kindly, white-haired lady who employed creative methods for encouraging our participation and learning. Then there was my fourth grade teacher, whose name I can't remember, perhaps because she couldn't remember how to spell my name all year long. Not too encouraging, eh?

What about your school memories? What do you remember about the teacher you would have considered your favorite? You may not have considered why that teacher was your favorite, but those reasons can be important. A student's relationship with his teacher is a powerful component of his educational experience.

If we were to survey a group of children concerning the characteristics that they appreciate in a teacher, we would likely hear reasons such as:

• Friendly toward me
• Listens to me
• Doesn't yell at me
• Understands that learning can sometimes be hard
• Notices my efforts
• Cares about me
• Encourages me when I'm having trouble
• Understands that I'm not like everyone else
• Makes learning exciting

When you look at the situation from a child's perspective, this list makes sense. These are essentially the same qualities that you would want in a teacher if you were learning something new. Now if you consider your own child's perspective - coupled with the fact that he must live with the teacher (you!) - then the importance of a positive student-teacher relationship gains even greater significance.

If the feedback you are getting from your student leads you to think your teaching style may be more like your least favorite teacher, you can take steps to improve the situation. Consider the imfluence of your words and remarks, and endeavor to be more positive and empathetic. Listen to your child's frustrations, offer suggestions, and look for new ways to present the material that is causing your child difficulty. Pay attention and respond positively when your child tries hard, and gently encourage him to keep trying if he seems distracted.

What draws out your best effort? Encouragement draws out my best effort. What draws you alongside another person? Empathy does that for me. Tune in to your interaction with your child. Listen to your words, watch what your body language is conveying. Start with one area to improve and observe the changes in your child as you make improvements. I suspect you will enjoy the change in your relationship.

Kelly